Chip: "When I'm dancing to a rap song, I do not want to think about my 'romantic failures' and 'misery.' I just want to zone out and grind on some bitches. Plus, we all know that the true song of the year is Beyonce's 'Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)'".
Richard: "Time goes on to describe the song as 'the most interesting musical experiment of the year,' but surely this is only because they haven't heard that cute little local hipster Farmer's Ball winning chick play the ukulele."
Does Time's best-song list include anything at all worthy of hipster-listening? As a matter of fact, it does. Checking in at number five (just below Li'l Wayne's "A Milli") is "White Winter Hymnal" by the Fleet Foxes, which they describe as a "chorale roundelay about a school trip to the woods" and "a miniature tale...as quaint and precious as a Joseph Cornell box".
Chip: "I hope I never hear this song."
Richard: "I often put it on mix-CD's."
And what is the best novel of the year? Time says it is Chilean novelist/poet Roberto Bolano's posthumously published, 900 page opus called 2666 ("Baffling, maddening, difficult, violent, obscene, overindulgent and way too long, 2666 is also the best novel of the year").
Richard: "I hope that one day this blog is described in exactly that fashion."
A band calling themselves Pet Comfort and claiming to hail from "Newtopia, Missouri" hits the Record Bar in KC tonight, and their MySpace page describes their sound as "acousmatic."
Chip: "Newtopia, Missouri, is likely a play on Newtonia, Missouri, suggesting the idea of 'utopia.' But there is no utopia in Missouri, let me assure you. Now as for the term "acousmatic," I can only assume it's a combination of 'acoustic' and 'asthmatic,' suggesting nasal-voiced folkies like Bob Dylan."
Richard: "The actual definition of 'acousmatic' is much more dull, but go look it up if you must... and make sure to check out this band tonight. They sound very warm and fuzzy, perfect to warm the ice-cold heart of a hipster on a chilly winter evening."