The Return of A. Rusc.n's Party Pics!

Well, it seems that you voyeurs out there much prefer to watch than to interact (since no one is present in the comments lately except Richard and the Captain). So let's be lazy today and take a peek at A. Rusc.n's excellent new spread of "party pics" from the recent show by Woods and Real Estate at the Jackpot.

This first photo reveals a common expression made by local women when a hipster tries to kiss them. And that smoochy fellow looks awfully familiar. Is he one of the Rooftop Vigilantes? Or a Replay doorman? Richard isn't observant enough to know for sure, but you'll definitely see that dude if you hang out downtown, and he might try to kiss you. Also, that's Jon Harrison in the background. Hi Jon. Jon always seems like a nice guy. And tall.















Now this next photo is very touching indeed. Here we see a kindly gentleman in a Queen shirt who looks a bit like Corey Feldman offering his friend a sip of his cranberry vodka.

Captain Chanute: "Another, less generous, interpretation is that the drink is probably 'roofied' and these fellows are about to enjoy a little non-consensual romp in the alley behind the bar."

Concert Reviews / Geek Photo of the Week / Tuesday's Lost Coverage

The boys didn't make it to the Xiu Xiu show at the Jackpot last night, but luckily the Pitch's Ian Hr.be was on hand to cover the gig:

"Xiu Xiu...was nothing but suburban angst personified, and I can't believe it took me so long to realize that frontman Jamie Stewart is effectively the Morrissey for the modern age."

King Tosser: "Doubtful."

"[One song] featured -- I shit you not -- a goddamned Nintendo DS as a primary instrument. It's an incredibly powerful song, and to watch Stewart singing it with absolute conviction all while pressing a stylus to a Game Boy was pretty incredible. And watching two x-handed kids do an interpretive dance to the song in the middle of the club was pretty spectacular, too."

Chip: "If by 'spectacular,' he means depressing, then I agree."

Here's Hr.be's photo of this moment (click to enlarge), which reveals that the hipsters were studiously avoiding the kids' interpretive dance (Chip: "Indeed, it IS best not to encourage them.").
















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Geeks from near and far converged on KC last weekend for the Planet Comicon convention (Richard dressed as a Cylon this year!).

Here's a picture from the Pitch's slideshow that shows five Boba Fetts arresting a Supergirl:

















Captain Chanute: "I get the feeling that everyone involved, including (and perhaps especially) Supergirl, is living out one of their greatest masturbation fantasies."

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Lost fans are still reeling over last week's revelations, which reduced the show to a fairly standard good vs. evil religious parable that most geeks guessed somewhere around the end of Season One. Even so, has any other television show ever produced the level of intellectualism regarding religion, philosophy, and science that this show has inspired over the years? Tonight's Lost episode, "The Package," is centered on Jin and Sun. Let's see what kind of intelligence is found in today's AICN talkback:

Miyamoto_Musashi says: "Always good to see more Sun, hottest Lostie for me, (yes obsessed with Asia girls), have seen bits of her this season so far but clearly not enough."

This Week in Local Sports / Hipster Pick of the Day

With KU's basketball season down the drain, it's time to direct all our interest, optimism, and anger toward the approaching football season. And the reign of Turner Gill--who proudly trumpets his morality and does not curse and will never hire anyone who does!--promises to be a far cry from the "Rip his fucking head off!" era of Mangino.

Today's LJ-World offers a (somewhat frightening) account of Gill-style football:

"With his team on one knee, huddled in front of him, Gill called on senior place kicker Jacob Branstetter to lead the Jayhawks in one of the team’s new traditions: a letter-by-letter reciting of the team mantra “B.E.L.I.E.V.E.”

B: Believe in each other and the things not yet seen.

E: Empower people by encouragement.

L: Learn and press on toward the goal.

I: Influence by being a positive role model.

E: Expect great effort all the time.

V: Visualize excellence.

E: Enjoy the college football experience."


Chip: "I wonder if the crowd will be asked to pray prior to kick-off. Not that I'm necessarily opposed to it, mind you, so long as it inspires our boys to rip some fucking heads off."

Richard: "I'm more worried about the team's apparent inability to spell the word 'believe,' as revealed in this quote from wide receiver Chris Omigie regarding the mantra: 'I think it’s more just remembering how to spell it than remembering the words of it. Some people just get it mixed up.'”

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Readers, do you know what "chiptune" means? No, it does not refer to Chip's habit of walking around whistling Justin Bieber songs, but rather a term for computer-generated music that's not uncommon in contemporary hipster bands, such as Xiu Xiu, playing tonight at the Jackpot. Xiu Xiu has been around awhile and they are on the Kill Rock Stars label, which means the hipsters should be out in force. Pitchfork gives their new album, Dear God, I Hate Myself, a 7.3:

"Over a rubbery pulse, "Chocolate Makes You Happy" seems to transform bar by bar-- flurries of computer noise, broken bells, touch-tone synths and more weave in and out of the aching vocal line. These are songs with their hair sticking up. This cultivated chaos produces complex music filled with insinuating hooks."

Cl.thier: "Songs don't have hair, Pitchfork."

Well, Pitchfork critics may not be masters of metaphor, Cl.thier, but we don't think you'll argue when we say that these lyrics from Xiu Xiu's "In Lust, You Can Hear the Axe Fall" are pure poetry:

"discolored at the bite of a pear
cut love me
cut love me into your breast
crush a pastry into your breast

wipe your hole clean, lover's blood
to have learned nothing
stitch it stitch it stitch it stitch it
tell me you are bad, busy witch
passive as a toilet
eat it eat it eat it eat it

who there is, who is not bored but this flaw?
discolored by the bite of an ox"

Recent Concert Reviews / On-Line Talkbackers Consider K-State

Local hipsters at the Replay last night were stunned by a completely irony-free performance by former Richmond, VA punk hero turned solo folkie, Tim Barry. Yes, that sounds exactly like an Onion headline, but so what, it's accurate. Setting up his mic in the middle of the room and sometimes venturing into the crowd with his guitar, Barry captivated a small band of devoted followers with an hour's worth of earnest, passionate songs and stories about hard times among the working class.

Chip: "Are you sure that this rare sincerity wasn't itself a kind of schtick? The guy was wearing a Conway Twitty T-shirt. Surely that's ironic."

Richard: "No, Chip. That T-shirt was sincere as well."

Spotted in the crowd on this evening was legendary former Lawrence hipster John Br.ni, back in town for the evening. Of course, he was only there to see the lesser-known opening act and left long before any real emotion was shared between performer and audience.

Later in the evening, Richard and King Tosser, confused and frightened by an evening of authenticity, ventured back into a more typical "scene" at the Jackpot, where many hipsters were far more interested in the venue's new photo booth than in the bands on-stage. Tosser soon found himself engaged in a heated territorial dispute with one of Larryville's little-old-lady-scenesters (no, it was not Carol, Larryville's beloved sweet little-old-lady lesbian, but one of her friends). This lady did not approve of Tosser resting his pitcher of beer on her table, which led to this exchange:

Lady: "That is Carol's table, and this is mine. We got here early to claim them."

Tosser: "What about that table across the room, love? Is that yours too."

Richard left, laughing uncontrollably, before the dispute came to blows, but he was fairly sure Tosser could have taken the old broad in a fight.

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After KU's early exit in the NCAA tournament, an unexpected and troubling question came up in Larryville last week: is it okay to support K-State out of a sense of state loyalty, even though they are obviously a bunch of vicious in-bred fuckers? (Chip: "The question should never have come up.").

In a controversial LJ-World editorial yesterday ("It's time to back the 'Cats"), Tom Keegan urged us to put aside our hatred and wish the team well. This led, of course, to a wild talkback session.

Nutflush21 says: "Keegan, I hear they have a job opening a the Manhattan Mercury."

Otownhawker says: "I didn't even read this astonomical (however you spell it) article. This is gross. I realize no one ever reads my stupid posts but you will never see me on these boards again...Otownhawker out forever...btw Self Realist, you blow, and so do you other people who don't support the best coach in KU history."

lhohman3 says: "I hope those Wildc*nts choke on a knife blade."

(Chip: "Wildcunts! Oh, that's good! Why didn't I think of that?").

But it's packywacky88 who wins the prize for our favorite post with an explanation of why it IS okay to root for K-State: "I know of no K-Stater that would cheer, root, or say anything positive about KU. They HATE us deep to their core…..I mean deep, deep hatred, and that makes me feel special. It is simple jealousy demonstrated by our retarded cousins to the west. But…..I root for the Big 12 and when not in competition with KU, I root for the Purple Pussies. We are big enough sports fans to cheer for our cousins, even if they are not. Although…..part of me enjoys the fact that we have 5 national crowns and they have none. I would like to see them in the Final 4…..something like when you go to McDonalds and see the “special needs girl” working on the fry-o-later….you cheer her on saying “geeze, she is doing good for herself”.

This Week in Local T-Shirt News / Hipster Pick of the Day

After years of costly litigation, Lew Perk.ns and his wily band of lawyers are finally driving local T-shirt shop Joe College out of business. The downtown store will close Wednesday, so get your hilarious "Cole .45" shirts and other memorabilia while you can.

Richard: "Say what you will about Larry Sinks' blatant infringement on trademark law, the guy gave us some fucking funny shirts."

In other T-shirt news, a local East Side artist has created a shirt which features a reproduction of the recent Oread Hotel graffiti: "SHOUT PEACE." The shirts were all the rage at this morning's East Side YART sale.

Chip: "I have reported these shirts to the local authorities and the artist will soon be interrogated to make sure he or she was not involved in the graffiti incident. Also, I think anyone wearing these shirts should be arrested on suspicion of anarchy. Also, I think anyone wearing a Che Guevara shirt should also be arrested. The guy was a revolutionary."


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It's always hip when rowdy young punk stars abandon their noise for a career of sensitive folk, and local hipsters will get an opportunity to witness such a transition today at the Replay when Tim Barry, of Richmond punk band Avail, plays a mellow set for the early evening drinkers. But just because he's gone acoustic on us doesn't mean he can't still kick your ass. Check out this interweb story in which Barry explains the recent asskicking he gave a heckler in Canada:

"I was quickly explaining that this song is about now and living lightly and more kindly in ways that perpetuate good so that there are things left for the people coming after us and as I'm trying to explain this the fucking guy just keeps heckling me brutally, so I invite him onstage. I said no one can hear you so I gave him a microphone. So I said now that you have had your say I'm going to explain to you again what this song is about. So I repeated my words "My best friend Travis killed himself" and he replied, "Well, he doesn't sound like much of a friend," and I just beat the living shit out of him onstage."

Richard: "Replay hipsters are forever running their mouths during all quiet sets, so I expect a full-on brawl tonight. See you there."

Weekend Box-Office Report

Readers, Hot Tub Time Machine opens today and Chip hasn't been this excited about a movie since Jackass II. Reviews so far are...better than one has any right to expect.

The AV Club, while awarding the film a so-so C+, nonetheless champions the "undercurrent of wistful melancholy" inherent to all time-travel films and even to one "as scatological and silly as Hot Tub Time Machine." Ultimately, however, AV Club says the film's "authentically ’80s-style casual sexism, gay panic, and frat-comedy clichés" prove less than satisfying.

Chip: "I think it will be nice to see a bit of old-fashioned 'casual sexism' and 'gay panic' instead of a modern bromance where I'm constantly nervous that the male leads may actually end up fucking each other."

The NY-Times offers a much more positive take on the film:

"Hot Tub Time Machine” is the poignant story of three men, adrift in their 40s, who try to recapture the lost joys and squandered possibilities of their youth. I’m not entirely joking, though the movie itself is a nonstop barrage — somewhere between a riot and an orgy — of crude, obnoxious gags and riffs...The cultural detritus piled up everywhere, to be recycled, cherished, mocked and travestied, provides small — but nonetheless real — compensation for the spiritual deficits of modern life."

Richard: "I'm going to pretend that that last sentence was from an NY-Times review of this blog."

This Week in Local Legislation / Hipster of the Week! / Style Scout

The state House of Representatives has now approved a bill to allow students to carry concealed weapons on college campuses: http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2010/mar/24/house-approves-concealed-carry-campus/

Do the boys approve?

Chip: "Finally, students will have a means of defending themselves against KU's liberal brainwashing."

Richard: "I don't necessarily approve, but I'm certainly not willing to go in unarmed against a group of students who are possibly packing heat. Anybody have recommendations for a nice firearm?"

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In this important new series, we'll be showcasing each week a local hipster who is making a difference in our community. Our first subject is Mr. Gavon Laess.g, prominent podcaster and writer for Lawrence.com. Gavon's primary responsibility for Larryville's chief guide to hipsterism seems to be finding and posting videos of cats doing hilarious things. Check out this startled kitty which Gavon has titled "OMG Cat": http://www.lawrence.com/news/2010/mar/23/omg-cat/

But Gavon also finds time to write exhaustive personal stories that often feature pictures of himself shirtless, such as a recent piece about his chestwaxing and this week's account of his attempt to eat five rice-bowls as part of an eating challenge at Larryville's new Japanese noodle shop, DonDon (Chip: "How many fucking noodle shops does this town have?"):












Readers, if you know of a local hipster who merits inclusion in this series (or if you think you may be such a hipster yourself), please send us details.


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In today's Style Scout, we meet Chris Lovely, who describes his wardrobe as "Mad Men" meets Harvey Birdman" and his style as "Mr. Rogers chic." His current favorite fashion trend is "Argyle everything": "Never underestimate a man in a nice sweater."

So, is he fashionable, or isn't he?