KU's "Undie Run" / This Weekend at the Box Office

Last night KU joined other colleges across the nation in hosting "undie runs" sponsored by Axe Body Spray, a competetion to see which campus can donate the most clothing to charity. Obviously, skipping a chance to see half-naked sorostitutes bounding down Jayhawk Blvd. like a herd of drunken and immensely fuckable gazelles is probably one of the dumbest decisions the boys ever made, but luckily you can find plenty of photos to peruse on-line in the privacy of your own home. Here's an especially interesting one (what's she doing with her hand!?) Click to enlarge and see if these might be your students.





















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The official summer blockbuster movie season kicks off today with the release of Iron Man 2, and our boners' are at full alert at the prospect of Scarlett Johannsen in a skintight catsuit. But for those less geeky and horny, this weekend's box office also offers what's likely to a sleeper hit, a documentary called Babies which chronicles the first year in the life of four babies from around the globe (San Francisco, Mongolia, Namibia, and Tokyo). The consensus of most legitimate film critics is that it's (a) about like watching a full-length Youtube video of babies doing cute stuff and (b) damn near irresistible unless you're some sort of baby-hating monster.

Chip: "I found the white baby to be the cutest. Does that make me a racist?"

Stop Day Eve and Style Scout

Readers, don't you love it when Cinco de Mayo falls on the day before Stop Day Eve. It's such a smooth transition between last night's tequila shots and today's Jagermeister. How many sorostitutes do you plan to bang tonight? (Chip: "Three, in a row." Richard: "Three, at the same time." Captain Chanute: "Just one, but an exceptionally slutty one.").

In the meantime, enjoy today's Style Scout subjects.

First up is Sarah Wertzberger, 29, who claims to have been "Bjork’s hand double in a Matthew Barney art film." (Readers, are they fucking serious about these claims they make?). Sarah's fashion influences are "Civil war re-enactors, Geronimo, people who have fun with what they wear and African prints" and she wishes that Larryville had more "secret swimming holes" and "Lawrence townie pride."





















Then there's Stephen Spacek, who was Scouted while "riding my fixed gear down Mass Street like a good townie." Spacek is a self-described "dirtbag" who "wear[s] lots of black band T-shirts and boot-cut jeans since I can’t fit my legs into “skinny jeans”; I wear Carhartt apparel in cold weather and overalls when I’m fishing."

Chip: "This looks like the kind of guy who fishes with dynamite."





















Ladies and gents, are they stylish, or aren't they?

[P.S: For those of you who are merely here for the conversation about having sex with robots, you can find it in the comments section two posts down from this one].

Recent Concert Reviews

Happy Cinco de Mayo, readers! If there's one thing we love, it's holidays with absolutely no expectations other than getting filthy drunk (possibly while wearing a sombrero and engaging in a serious discussion about recent Arizona legislation).

In the meantime, however, let's take a look at the recent gig by Fucked Up at the Jackpot (which the boys did not attend, because they were scared, so we have to rely on the Pitch's commentary).

The review begins by summarizing a Chicago gig by the band--"Pink Eyes (Damian Abraham) chewed through a barrage of beach balls tossed to the stage, eventually wearing one as hat before stripping to his shorts to expose his beautifully formed potbelly"--before moving on to the Jackpot show: "The uncontainable Fucked Up frontman (the pun isn't intentional, though perhaps appropriate) often jumped into the crowd, at one point intercepting a crowdsurfer and carrying him deep into the bar. Just for kicks, he wore a crumpled up dixie cup as hat, then later as a hood ornament on his pale glistening stomach."

Chip: "I think this reviewer has some sort of fucked up (get it!?) belly fetish."

The reviewer concludes: "Fucked Up's brand of punk is often called artful, and the band is an ambassador of a new wave of smart hardcore."

Does this look smart to you, readers?















If you answered "no" to the above question, you're probably not hip.

Opening the show was the ever-present Rooftop Vigilantes, riding a wave of national buzz and poised to release their second album this summer on a label they won't yet reveal. Let's see what our favorite new local blogger from "Why Are There So Many Records in My Life" thinks about the Vigilantes:

"Zach is the Bob Pollard to Oscar's Tobin Sprout and they effectively made the last great GBV record...if GBV were from Lawrence and drank PBR instead of whatever lite beer was on tap. And was younger and were goofier. And I fucking hate the Lawrence music scene now. It's become this weird, out of control thing that I can't even grasp EXCEPT for Rooftop Vigilantes, who are effectively the only Lawrence band (other than Transmittens) who would be able to coax me out of my apartment and three blocks down to the Replay to see a show."

Check out his full gushing praise here:

http://recordsinmylife.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

The Burger Stand Breaks Up With Dempsey's / Lost Fans Speak Out!

We made an important discovery yesterday at the LC. Our readers do not want to talk about local news and politics, nor hipster bands, nor art (especially not art). Our readers want to talk about...childhood lunchboxes. At any rate, thanks for your many enlightening responses and vulgarities. But today we must turn our attention to the downtown dining scene, so pack yourself a gourmet burger in your Transmittens lunchbox, fellow hipsters, and let's consider what's about to happen to Larryville's beloved Burger Stand.

Local chef/wizard Robert Kra.se's Burger Stand has become so associated with Dempsey's Pub of late that it's easy to forget that his little burger shack is simply an autonomous business which happens to be squatting inside a pre-existing bar. Yesterday's announcement that the Stand would soon be packing up and moving down the street to the old Casbah (right next to Krause's new Esquina) inspired a day of confusion and rumors on the LJ-World site. The talkback consensus seems to be that Kra.se attempted a coup to oust the owners of Dempsey's and control the whole northern corner of downtown with his sweet, sweet truffle-burgers. Many believe that Krause's burgers revitalized a dying pub and that its absence will probably destroy it. Others insist that Dempsey's will continue cooking burgers with more or less the same menu. Others worry that the new Burger Stand location will be beerless, and who wants a Kra.se-burger without a fine pint from Dempsey's good selection?

Here is our personal favorite exchange from yesterday's talkback:

pizzapete says: "I agree, way over rated. I would take a burger from Conroy's, Set em up jacks, Jeffersons, or Buffalo Wild Wings over them any day."

theruckus33 retorts: "and your favorite movie is "American Pie" favorite beer is Budweiser, favorite musician Nickleback and you love mma fighting.......yeah we get the picture."

At any rate, the Stand as you know and love it is still open for now, so head down for today's special as advertised on their Twitter: "Pistachio dusted lamb burger with kalamata tapenade and feta."

Chip: "What's a 'kalameta?' What's a 'tapenade?' Does my ignorance make me totally uncultured?"

Richard: "Of course it does, Chip. And I personally look forward to when Kra.se controls the whole 800 block of Mass. with one gourmet restaurant after another. I still think his next 'reinvention' should be pizza, but a pizza joint in which the slices are never cut into boring triangles but rather into trapezoids or rhombuses with the theory that the very shape of the slice affects one's palate in unexpected ways."

The Eastside foodies: "I'd go there every day."

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The May 23 series finale of Lost is fast approaching, and geeks are geeking out over news that tonight's episode, "The Candidate," will feature the death of a major character. But, as usual, the talkbacks are primarily concerned with smaller matters:


Chrispmcfc responds to MyNameIsDan: "Walt didnt make Polar Bears exist you mong, it was just foreshadowing by the writers."

Monday Flashback

On Monday, we like to reflect upon the strange shit we witnessed over the weekend, such as the man with the Empire Strikes Back lunchbox at the Replay last night. He was a member of a Missouri band called Bootheel, and after the band ripped through a fiery set of country-punk, this fellow hung around the patio drinking and carrying around the lunchbox rather daintily, not in an ironic fashion but much like an eight year old boy whose mother had packed him a nice lunch of PB&J with the crusts cut off. Richard (naturally) found himself wondering what was in this lunchbox. The guy's stash of weed, perhaps? CD's from the band? A fucking light saber? But the guy had a rather intimidating look. He was heavily tattoed, and from Missouri, and Richard imagined that any unwanted questions might lead to a lunchbox across the face, leaving your author with an impression of Yoda on his cheek. So he did not ask. But at one point he did overhear the man engaged in a nearby conversation about lunchboxes in which an older fellow fondly recalled his Man From U.N.C.L.E lunchbox and a woman recalled her Yellow Submarine lunchbox, to which the band member responded: "I'll bet that motherfucker is a collectible now."

At this point Richard suddenly remembered owning a Fall Guy lunchbox during his own childhood. Too bad he didn't have it with him at the Replay last night.

Readers, what lunchbox did you own?

Chip: "My Little Pony. Sure, it earned me a beating or two, but I thought those ponies were neat."

Quantrill Rides Again?

William Quantrill's 1863 raid on Larryville remains a sore spot among local citizens, who were dismayed to learn recently that Charles Juba, a former member of the Aryan Nations, planned to open an under-21 club in Odessa, Missouri, called The Black Flag (named for the flag Quantrill rode under). In defense of Missouri citizens (and we never thought we'd write those words), the town's city fathers were also bothered by the idea (and have apparently successfully prevented the opening of the bar, according to recent reports). You can read an article from "The Odessan" at the link below, along with other important stories out of the community, such as this one about an escaped bull:

"Citizen alert! There is a black or dark brown bull running loose in the rural area south of Odessa, and people need to be aware.According to the Lafayette County Sheriff's Department, "bull sightings" have been reported several days this week, but so far, authorities have not been able to locate the animal and round him up. Also, no one has reported a bull missing. In fact, no one seems to even want to claim this particular bull."

Chip: "I think this is the legendary Missouri 'ghost bull.' We used to tell horror stories about this beast back in Forttt Scottt."

http://www.theodessan.net/newsodessa.html

In other Missouri news, it would be easy to make jokes about the state's recent $258 million dollar Powerball lottery winner, Chris Shaw, of Marshall, but we won't even bother, because it's like shooting fish in a barrel ("Which, by the way, is a popular activity in Missouri."--Chip).

Here's Shaw:

Richard Attends the Replay's "Roller Races!"

KC's "premier bicycle roller racing" club, KC Sprints, took over the Replay patio last night, proving once and for all that hipster and redneck culture can successfully mingle so long as it's centered around an event that's sufficiently ridiculous and encourages massive PBR consumption. Indoor bicycle roller racing consists of two stationary bikes mounted on-stage, facing each other and hooked to machinery that monitors their speed, with a large screen broadcasting the racers' progress to a drunken, cheering audience. Participants included a fair amount of KC regulars such as Shipwreck (a tough guy), Puky McGee (a lady known for her propensity to throw up after her "sprints"), and Voltron (a child). But locals were encouraged to get in on the action as well: for a mere two dollars anyone in the bar could challenge anyone else to a "grudge match," and numerous Replay bartenders and doormen got in on the action. There were also "special" races throughout the evening, most impressive being the "shirtless beer race" (dudes only, sadly), in which the racers' chugged a beer during the sprint. Sure, the MC's arsenal of sexist and homophobic jokes may have shocked a few Larryville liberals at first (an audible gasp arose when he referred to the first two female contestants as "bitches"), but the crowd soon seemed to convince themselves that his comments were sufficiently ironic (they weren't) to be enjoyed as part of the spectacle. "This is uncouth," said the Honorable Reverend H. when Puky McGee lived up to her name, retching for the delight of the cheering masses. "I think we should go to the Bourgeois Pig." But Richard did not go to the Pig. Readers, he was riveted, and did not leave until the last race was run.

Four out of four PBRs (in bottles, which seems the preferred choice of KC cyclists).

Pictured: Puky McGee feeling queasy after a race; two racers in a photo finish.