Weekend Holiday Picks: Jokes, Gremlins, Baiowolf, Solstice Parties, and More

The holidays are almost upon us and we're taking our usual long winter's nap on the blog till after the New Year.  See you on Twitter until then.

We've already showcased tonight's Muscle Worship homecoming show and Saturday night's "Very Shitty Christmas" event at Frank's, so let's see what else is happening.

Some folks are telling jokes at the Jazzhaus tonight. We're not really sure who they are, except for Gunnerson, but maybe you'll laugh.  Probably you'll laugh more than you will at Anchorman 2, which is... not great.





Liberty Hall provides some holiday merriment with the Christmas classic Gremlins on Friday.  This should be a treat.




The Gaslight hosts an interesting community event on Friday (though their poster needs an editor!).

 


Black on Black will sing some carols down at the Replay on Friday.  And look:  a BaioWolf sighting!  And an image and line from Heathers on the poster! Sold.

 


And the Percolator celebrates the Solstice on Saturday with a potluck event and people reading stories about creatures from the Snipe Hunt show.   Probably some hippies will prance around naked in the snow at some point, though that isn't listed on the FB event page. 


See you in 2014.

A Very Special Christmas Message From The Noise FM / Wednesday and Thursday Scenester Picks: Hidden Pictures and Muscle Worship

Readers, if you're like us, you checked the Bottleneck and/or Replay listings this week looking in vain for the annual "Noise for Toys" benefit show from The Noise FM. Sadly, you didn't find it.  But don't panic: the show goes on this year in Kansas City at the Riot Room on Saturday.  Visit the FB event page here.

 Alex of The Noise FM sent along our annual "Very Special Christmas Message" to explain the details.  

"To the kids of Douglas County: Christmas has been cancelled. Deal with it.

This is the first time in six years we will NOT be hosting our annual Noise For Toys Benefit Concert in Lawrence. Honestly, we had every intention of keeping the tradition alive, but Austin discovered “Dexter” on Netflix and Alex got a late start playing “The Last of Us,” and oops, next thing you know we realize we forgot to book a venue to host Noise For Toys. This is why we need a manager. And for someone to teach us how to use a goddamn calendar.

The point is, you punk kids think YOU’RE sad you won’t be getting Christmas gifts this year? Imagine how WE must feel – we normally get paid for this show with unlimited pitchers of PBR and well whiskey, and we’ve been known to keep some of the “damaged” or “inappropriate” toys for ourselves. No doubt Noise For Toys is the highlight of our year.

But fear not, kids -- we’ve found a new home for Noise For Toys at The Riot Room in Kansas City. So if you feel like helping out your less-fortunate peers over in Missouri (and aren’t they all less-fortunate over in Missouri? Hey-o!), we’d love to see you on Saturday, December 21.

(A note to you kids: unless you’re a 7 year old with an incredible fake ID, don’t bother showing up as it’s an ages 21+ show. Sorry, kiddos.)

Joining us are Kansas City bands We Are Voices and Rooms Without Windows. The show starts at 9pm. It’s $8 at the door or only $4 with the donation of an unopened toy.

You can expect lots of gaudy Christmas decorations, botched Christmas songs from all of the bands, and most likely one of our friends from Cowboy Indian Bear or Quiet Corral dressed as Santa Claus and drunk on peppermint schnapps. Wear an ugly sweater because we’ll probably have an ugly sweater contest at some point in the night if we remember to do it."

 *Here is a photo of our buddy Mike who hosts the Chicago Noise For Toys every year. We walked in on him in the bathroom taking a selfie. 

[photo credit:  Jim Vondruska / DoomsDayRobot]

 

 
Watch a funny one-minute promo for the event via Youtube here which includes a lot of sexy dancing.

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In the meantime, what's happening in LFK tonight and tomorrow?

Our pals Hidden Pictures are living it up out west these days (why must all of our favorite bands head west?) but they're back in town for the holidays and playing at Replay tonight.  Supposedly they open the night's festivities, with Mr. James Dean Rose and others playing after.   The FB event page includes this festive photo:




And it's not Christmas in LFK till shit gets LOUD, so catch Muscle Worship at the Replay on Thursday along with American Cream (great name!) and This Is My Condition.  We expect they'll all be playing some holiday favorites, cranked up to 11.  And you surely haven't lived till you've heard Craig Comstock's version of "Silent Night."  (spoiler alert: it ain't very fucking silent).   

Muscle Worship  is just back from tour, and you may have heard that they've joined up with The Temp Agency.  You can find all kinds of sweet press on the band via The Temp Agency's site, including one that proclaims them (as we often have) "the city's loudest band."

Also, how in HELL did we not realize that Müscle Wörship uses not one but two umlauts.  As fans of unusually punctuated bands, we can dig it!

Our Interview With The Monarchs: "We are artists. Losing money is part of the contract."

The Monarchs are from KC. They enjoy pretty butterflies.  You may not have heard of them (yet).  They're playing a free album release show at the Bottleneck on Saturday with Rev Gusto and The Invisible World, and they're allowing you to name-your-own-price for the new album.  That's putting a lot of trust in you scenesters!  Don't let them down.  Visit the FB event page for more info.

Check out their official website here and enjoy this interview with The Monarchs' Nathaniel in which we discuss butterflies, the differences in the LFK and KC music scenes, drugs, and orgies.
 

Chip:   Based on your band name and the imagery on your flyers and album, you guys really like butterflies.  Could you please describe your sound using some elaborate and pretentious butterfly metaphors?

Nathaniel: The Monarchs sound is in a constant of metamorphosis. We are always trying to evolve and soar to new heights with our musicianship and songwriting capabilities. Breaking free from the chrysalis, the molds, and the labels people are trying to project upon us is one of our many goals. The Monarchs want to emerge from the chrysalis as something so breathtaking and original that people will have no choice but to accept it as it is, as all music should be accepted, just as people accept butterflies as they are. The monarch butterfly journeys thousands of miles every year and is known to even migrate across oceans. Just as the monarch butterfly, The Monarchs want to take you on a journey with our music. So please, come fly away with us.

Richard:  You guys are based in Kansas City but you seem to be popping up in Lawrence quite a bit recently.   How do the music scenes differ, in your opinion?  Can you weigh the pros and cons
for us.  Also, do you find Lawrence audiences to be receptive to KC bands?  I’ve seen some great KC bands (like The Grisly Hand) play very sparsely attended shows in Lawrence.

Nathaniel: The difference in the Lawrence music scene and the Kansas City music scene to me is that Lawrence has a lot of heart and Kansas City does not. I love all the venues in Lawrence. Especially The Bottleneck. The Bottleneck to me is my home away from home and I can not thank them enough for how much support they throw behind the bands they book. Just looking at their past artists who have played the Bottleneck... no small venue really rivals it. You walk in there and you just soak in this history of timeless music and as an artist that is just so warming and engrossing you can't help but get a little high from it. The magical thing, though, is all the venues in Lawrence are like that. They are all just so welcoming and homey. I could honestly sleep in those venues and feel at home. The greatest part of the Lawrence scene though are the crowds and the people that attend the shows. They all love music so much you can almost smell it in their breath.  [Chip: "That's mostly PBR you're smelling."]. You feel the energy once you play a show in Lawrence. Most everyone is standing up and is standing up next to the stage. The Lawrence crowds are there for the music. Kansas City, I don't get that same vibe. I love Kansas City and I love venues like the Brick, RecordBar, the Coda. But no disrespect to the Kansas City crowds, they just lack the openness and enthusiasm at local shows. Maybe we haven't been playing the right shows in Kansas City but I don't feel the love as much as we do Lawrence. There are certain venues in KC, which will remain unnamed, that tend to screw over bands, that I choose not to support or play at. Don't get me wrong: we have had some unbelievable shows in KC that we won't forget. I just have a special place in my heart for Lawrence. Our biggest crowds and shows have been Lawrence. I can never thank Lawrence enough for the support they give The Monarchs. We hope to show Larryville how much we love them Saturday night!

Chip:   Your album release at the Bottleneck this Saturday is not only a free show, it’s also a name-your-own-price for the album show.  You guys are putting a lot of trust in cheap scenesters, who may very well give you one buck for the album and save their cash for PBR!  Are you determined to lose money??

Nathaniel: Haha, I fucking love this question. My parents ask me the same thing every time I go over to visit. All I want is for people to listen to our music. That is all I could ever ask for. And if it means that The Monarchs lose money in the process, so be it. We are artists.  Losing money is part of the contract. The Monarchs have something to say and we want as many people to hear what we have to say as humanly possible. Hell, my goal is to change the world. The Monarchs and I want to change things; we want to make a difference with our music. I'm going to make this dream of ours a reality. In order to do that, many people have to hear our music and selling our music as of right now won't make that happen. I'm here on this world to change it, not buy it.

Richard:  You fellows are ambitious. But many of our readers are not.  Leave them with a blurb that convinces them they absolutely MUST attend this show.

Nathaniel: If you wish to go on a journey that will take you through space and time. A journey that will take your soul to new dimensions it may have never witnessed before.  I can't guarantee you'll come back the same. The Monarchs, Rev Gusto, and The Invisible World can guarantee that you will have the journey of your life this Saturday, Dec. 21st at The Bottleneck. The show is free, the albums are name your own price. You have nothing to lose.   

Chip:  Oh, one more thing.  Your Facebook page describes your sound as “OrganicAlternative Psychedelic Sex Rock.”  What kind of drugs are best for your music and how often do orgies occur on the dance floor at your shows?  

Nathaniel: I have to say, our music is glorious on shrooms. Peyote I imagine would be pretty wicked. LCD, Molly, Opium, est. Anything that will take you on a journey. I cant guarantee the trip will always be pleasant because The Monarchs cover so many genres and can get rather heavy at times but in the end you will join us in the sun. 

And there are always orgies on the dance floor at a Monarchs show.  The orgies never stop! There are orgies before the show, during the show on stage and on the dance floor, and off course after the show. You can't finish the night until you finish in an orgy. 

Holiday Theater Picks in LFK: Kansas Nutcrackers, Christmas Boners, and Mamet!

If you want to see a reverent version of A Christmas Carol, you better head to the KC Rep, because LFK likes its holiday theater a little more strange.

If you want to see a ballet full of Kansas historical figures, you've got the annual Kansas Nutcracker at the LAC for another weekend.  Based on the L.com review, we're thinking that Jerry Mitchell steals the show (but, sadly, he's not playing Victor Continental...oh, if only there were a few more boner jokes in this Nutcracker).



A much better chance for Christmas dick jokes will occur at Frank's on Saturday as Card Table Theater serves up A Very Shitty Christmas featuring LFK's beloved Shitty Deal Puppets, local comedians, and (of course) an ugly sweater competition, because contemporary Christmas events can't exist without an ugly sweater contest.  Details here on the FB event page.





If you prefer your theater without the holiday cheer, Third Thursday staged readings return to the Perc with  David Mamet's "Bobby Gould In Hell" and Kurt Vonnegut's "Sun, Moon, Stars."   Check out the great synopsis of the Mamet play below.




Oh, and Theatre Lawrence has a production of Shrek.  Despite auditioning, Chip did not get the role of Shrek.

Weekend Picks: Drunken Christmas Fun and Stop Day Shenanigans

As we all know, getting drunk makes Christmas shopping more tolerable, and LFK's annual Sip & Shop makes it all very easy on you:  notice that the "sip" is placed first.  So head to Pachamama's ballroom on Friday, have a cocktail, and buy some gifts from local artists.  Visit the FB event page here for more info on the artists involved.



If you don't get enough partying tonight on Stop Day Eve with the free Cowboy Indian Bear show at the Granada, stop by the Jackpot on Friday for a big Stop Day party with Haunt Ananta and many more.  The poster makes us giggle.  FB event page here.




On Saturday the drunken Santas come out to play for the fourth annual LFK SantaCon pub crawl.  They begin at 3:00 at the Sandbar and end up way the hell over at...the Bottleneck at 6:00.  Check out the FB event page here for the full itinerary and gaze upon these Santas drinking some Old Overholt:

Midweek Scenester Picks: The Leotards Take Kansas City and Cowboy Indian Bear Celebrates Stop Day Eve

When we last heard The Leotards they were howling their beautiful obscenities from a rooftop in East LFK sometime over the summer.  We assume they spent the intervening time in jail (or "the big house," as they call it).  But tonight they're on the loose and playing their first-ever KC gig at the Union in Westport.  We'll be damned if we can find any info on the lineup, or even an official website or Facebook page for the club, but that makes it even hipper, right?  So head over to see King Tosser and Stephanie Stix win over a mid-week Westport crowd with mature new songs like "Ghost" (listen here via Soundcloud) and presumably old favorites such as "Sugar Dick."

Closer to home, our friends in Cowboy Indian Bear are playing a big KJHK-sponsored Stop Day Eve show at the Granada which will surely be full of young scholars taking a much-needed break before finals.  Also on the bill: Middle Twin; Forrester; and the ever-present Psychic Heat.  We're hoping that the bands all play some wizard rock/dragon rock tunes as this show coincides with the release of the dumbly-titled Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug!

Things We Like This Week: Sam Billen's Annual Christmas Record ; The Return of Film Church; KU Volleyball in the Sweet 16

Your friend and ours, jolly ol' Sam Billen, released his annual free Christmas album yesterday, a beloved holiday tradition in LFK.  This one opens with a Wham! cover and features extra helpings of Suzy Johannes. What's not to like?  Head over to Bandcamp and download it now, you grinches!

 

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Film Church is back at Liberty Hall on the 15th and this time it's in the evening for some reason!  (perhaps because scenesters loved the idea of Film Church in theory but weren't very good at actually waking up before noon on Sundays).

This month's choice: Terry Gilliam's beloved holiday classic (?)  Brazil.  This'll be good.   More info here via Liberty Hall.


 


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Sure, the men's basketball team suffered a discouraging loss to Colorado last weekend (leading Chip to burn his KU diploma and declare the team to be "the worst during my lifetime").  But don't worry, Chip.  We're primarily a volleyball school these days, and on Friday the ladies will play in the Sweet 16 for the first time ever as they take on Washington in the regional matches out in LA.

Did you know that hardcore KU Volleyball fans painted themselves for the matches?   We didn't.  But here's a cool pic via a KU Sports gallery that reveals it to be true. Presumably it says "Team Crush?"

Our Interview With Bottle Rockets: "Our audiences these days are the best they've been."

If you've paid much attention to our hijinks over the years, you'll know that we have a special fondness for the kind of rough-around-the-edges 90's "alt-country" that seems to have given way these days to...a lot of polished posers hijacking the roots scene.  And you can bet we STILL dig ourselves some Uncle Tupelo, some Old 97's, some Whiskeytown, some Slobberbone, and (obviously) some Bottle Rockets.  So it was a real treat for us to get to interview original Bottle Rockets' drummer Matt Ortmann on the occasion of Bloodshot Records' 20th anniversary reissue of the band's long out-of-print first two albums:  93's Bottle Rockets and 94's The Brooklyn Side, a reissue which also contains 19-unreleased tracks and a 40-page booklet on the band's history.  Yes, it's badass. 

Visit the band's page on the Bloodshot site here for a lot more info on the reissues and drop by Soundcloud to stream a song from the release:  the Bottle Rockets' very cool '91 demo of "Indianopolis" featuring Tupelo's Mr. Tweedy and Mr. Farrar.

Sadly, Mark and the boys aren't hitting Lawrence on the current anniversary tour (though they DID just play in Colombia, MO over the weekend...damn it, fellas, you were so close!).  But you could ostensibly catch them in Chicago at the Hideout on December 13 before they head overseas for a sweet tour with the great Marshall Crenshaw.

Enjoy this interview with Mark in which we evaluate the old scene, the new scene, the old fans, rowdy shows, and a very weird  long-ago Bottleneck jam-session with A.M-era Wilco and...the drummer of the Presidents of the United States of America!

Richard:  First off, thanks for doing an interview with our silly blog! I’ve always been a big fan of you guys and that whole scene from back when the “alt-country” term was still more prominent. Why do you think today’s musical climate has shifted toward the more polished sound of “roots” bands like the Mumfords and the Lumineers and such? And how do you feel about those kind of bands? (I often think of it as roots-lite).

Mark: It's a natural progression for a musical style to become more polished as it develops in following generations. For example, classic rock sounds more polished than rock n' roll from the '50s, and today's music sounds even more polished than that. Of course that raises the debate about music losing bits of its soul along the way as it becomes more polished, but then does that mean the Sgt. Pepper album had no soul when it was released? Historically, "roots" music hasn't had a large audience, but the current popularity of scruffy-bluegrassy-folkie-old-timey-acoustic-bands-with-beards-and-vests-and-suspenders (a.k.a. roots-lite) has indeed exploded into a successful formula that I believe is connected to the popularity of the acoustic-jam-band formula. It's not too much of a stretch to connect dots between Yonder Mountain String Band and Old Crow Medicine Show and Mumford And Sons. Although The Bottle Rockets are typically too electric to fit those trends, it would be cool to share some of their enormous success! [laughs]

Chip:  I’ve been checking out the tunes on the awesome Bloodshot reissues of your first two out-of-print albums and I particularly love rocking out with the songs that are about chicks like “Gas Girl” and “Trailer Mama.” What are your personal favorite tracks from that era? And tell us in general about how this early work fits into the “bigger picture” of the Bottle Rockets sound?

Mark: The subjects of love and lust in songs like "Gas Girl" and "Trailer Mama" are universal emotions that people share and can relate to. However, some personal favorite songs of mine from that era are "I Wanna Come Home" and "1000 Dollar Car." These two early albums are good examples of the guitar-driven sound we've used throughout our career. We've never drifted too far from that being the Big Picture.

Richard:  I love the angry tone of “Wave that Flag,” with its take on redneck, rebel-flag-waving culture. How did a song like that go over early in your career when you were no doubt playing to some pretty rowdy crowds in Missouri? Also, can you tell us a tale or two about a few memorable shows from those early days?

Mark: I can't think of a time when playing "Wave That Flag" has caused problems. Actually, I'm surprised how often that song gets requested in the most unexpected situations and is received with enthusiasm. But there was that one rowdy time we played the Altamont Speedway while a Hells Angels biker attacked a fan... wait, I'm getting confused...

Chip:  Our readers love stories about Lawrence and I know you guys have played here a lot over the years. We caught you not long ago with James McMurtry and I’m pretty sure I have a drunken memory of being at a long-ago Bottleneck show that may have had local heroes Arthur Dodge and the Horsefeathers on the bill. Do you have any favorite memories or funny tales from Lawrence shows? Did you ever get to party with Split Lip Rayfield very much?

Mark: I think I remember playing once with Arthur Dodge at the Bottleneck, but the details of the show have escaped me now. And I know we've played with Split Lip Rayfield a few times, but I don't remember if it included Lawrence (I remember a time at the Blue Note in Columbia, MO.) However, I distinctly remember a time at the Bottleneck when we played with A.M.-era Wilco and the drummer of the band Presidents Of The United States Of America jumped on stage and sat in. I never liked their annoying song "Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches" and I don't like ironic bands in general. Anyway, POTUSA had played elsewhere earlier that night and some of their band/crew came bar hopping to the Bottleneck after their show. The drummer sat in during the encore of the Wilco set, which was a haphazard group jam where the Bottle Rockets joined Wilco on stage. I don't remember the song we played, but I'm sure it was a mess.

Richard:  So let’s talk about some of the authentic “roots” acts that I do like. Lyrically, my favorites are probably James McMurtry and Drive By Truckers. Both of those acts write songs that are better than most novels! Who are your personal favorite roots/Americana acts right now and why? And are there some lesser-known artists (perhaps on Bloodshot!) that we and our readers should be watching out for?

Mark: We've co-toured with James McMurtry a couple times and he's currently my favorite roots artist. His lyrics are so rich and literary without sounding forced or contrived, and I like his dark sense of humor and guitar playing. I also like Lucinda Williams, Steve Earle, Justin Townes Earle and of course the Drive-By Truckers. However, I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm out of touch with many new artists, but have been told to check out Lydia Loveless on Bloodshot.

Richard:  I've caught her in Lawrence on at least two occasions.  She's great.

 Chip:  With these reissues on the way, are you digging deep into the back catalogue at live shows? And how are your audiences these days? Do you still get some rowdy crowds or are they mostly checking their watches to make sure they get home in time to relieve the babysitter?

Mark: Yes, we're adding some of the very old songs to our anniversary shows just for the fun of it. Our audiences these days are the best they've been. Although there is a percentage of fans who can't last the whole night like they used too, I'm surprisingly pleased at how rowdy our audience can still get, especially when they body surf the mosh pit while still holding onto their geriatrics walker.

 


The boys in '95:

 

Weekend Picks: Smelly Pirate Hookers, Bluegrass, Grunge, and More

It's a big sports weekend around these parts, with KU volleyball hosting and playing in the NCAA tournament at Allen Fieldhouse and Sporting KC competing for the MLS Cup.  (And, oh yeah, everyone's favorite third-place winners in the Battle 4 Atlantis also have a game).

For the families, LFK's beloved Old-Fashioned Christmas Parade ("the horse parade") is Saturday morning.  It's gonna be bone-chilling cold!

But what else?

You smelly pirate hookers should kick off the weekend tonight with a screening of Anchorman at the Granada at 9:30.  Is there any way the impending sequel can match everyone's unreasonable expectations? 

 


If you'd rather stay warm with some tunes, duck into Love Garden on Friday evening at 7:00 to see Stiff Middle Fingers play a set and release their recent live recording at the Replay.  Will you hear yourself being obnoxious in the background on this recording?  The FB event page is here . Also on the bill:  All Blood and Kind Horse (a band which we expect is much noisier than it sounds). 




If you want a quieter evening, how about the impeccable picking and grinning of Nashville's The Infamous Stringdusters at Liberty Hall on Friday.  Plus, the band is also raising money for Colorado flood relief, so you can enjoy some bluegrass AND help out.  L.com has a story about the show here.




Then keep the pickin' going with the official afterparty over at the Bottleneck with Colorado's Whitewater Ramble  and Mr. Monzie Leo.

 


Or venture across the river to Frank's for 40 Watt Dream and Wells the Traveler.   Katie and the 40 Watt gang were absolutely ON and scorching the last time we saw them at the Replay.  The FB event page is here.




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We like to think we were early champions of those Hillsdale, KS scoundrels known as Mr. and the Mrs: reread our 2012 interview here, in which Ben offered Chip some life-changing advice:

"...if you put peanut butter on your man-junk or woman-junk, it will attract most any mammal."

Anyway, the duo is back at the Replay on Saturday and Ben sent us this blurb:

"This Sat Dec 7th at the Replay Lounge it's the grunge rock duo Mr. and the Mrs. with LFK's own The Gleaners and Hidden Planets. Bring your boners out for a night of gettin' down and dirty. Protection optional but recommended. Cum on down to the Replay Lounge."

Concert Recap: Jeff Tweedy at Uptown Theater Plus Our Top Seven Favorite Jeff Tweedy Responses to the Drunken Fan Down Front

In between bouts of a ninety-minute debate with a drunken, chatty, occasionally nonsensical, irrhythmic clapper of a fan, Jeff Tweedy managed to play a gorgeous solo set for a nearly full house at the Uptown last night (while the rest of KC spent an evening up the street with Yeezus at the Sprint Center).

 "Most of these songs usually live in a very different world, so some of them are gonna suck tonight," Tweedy warned, but the truth is that, with songwriting this good, the songs still work even when Wilco's increasingly ornate arrangements and scorching guitar wizardry are stripped away (not that the evening was entirely Wilco-focused: we even got some Golden Smog and Loose Fur material).  By the end of the evening, Tweedy even embraced the trend so popular among today's folk and bluegrass shows by abandoning amplification entirely and playing Tupelo's "Acuff-Rose" at the foot of the stage:  "Name me a song that everybody knows / And I'll bet you it belongs to Acuff-Rose." 

Name us a better lyric than that?  At that line, the wolf-whistle from the guy three rows back of us was fucking deafening.

Here's a top-seven list of Tweedy's responses and retorts to the drunk guy down front (paraphrased but not far off]:

"Your clapping is like something sparking in a microwave."

"Your clapping is like a shoe rattling around in a dryer."

"Why don't you try sitting on your hands?"

"I don't wanna piss you off...but I don't wanna make you happy either."

"Really, this evening is not all about you."

"You're doing better now. I don't want to call you out ONLY when you're misbehaving."

Fifteen or twenty minutes into the set: "Kanye would have been outta here by now if he had to deal with this."


Thanks for making KC the first step on the short solo jaunt, Tweedy!

Local Sign of the Week: Biemer's / Video of the Week: The Grisly Hand's "Country Singles" / Plus, Yeezus vs. Tweedy!!

Our pals at Biemer's recently hosted a contest to see who could come up with the best innuendo for their new sign.  Chip's entries were sadly rejected for their lack of subtlety, but we can't quibble with the winner.  Gaze upon it:

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We were intrigued by the new "Country Singles" video from KC's The Grisly Hand by the press blurb alone:   
"If you like good music, drive-ins, movies about Satanic hippie cults, true love, truckers, CB radios, Singles magazines and tridents, then this music video is for YOU!" 

Sold!

Watch it via Youtube right here:

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And tonight's the night, folks.  Kanye West is in the area (at Sprint Center).  Apparently he's got his Yeezus LED lights functioning again after cancelling some tour dates. Obviously, he can't be expected to perform without all his...bling!  Let us know if it's awesome.  We'll be twenty or so blocks away at the Uptown with Mr. Jeff Tweedy, getting our "dad-rock" on.

Stuff We Like This Week: Snipe Hunt; Oldest Working Theater in US; And Our First Christmas Scenester Pick

The Percolator has easily out-weirded Wonder Fair with their current Snipe Hunt exhibit, so make sure you get out there and check out this obsessively curated show (from Kent Smith and Matthew Lord) that relies heavily on stories solicited from the community about their encounters with strange creatures.  Make sure to look for the story about the magical guy who works at the Douglas County Fair.

During the opening, we spotted a Sasquatch skulking along the fence out front while people were reading the stories aloud around a campfire.  But it turned out to be KT Walsh in a Sasquatch costume.

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Did you know Ottawa, Kansas has what may well be the "oldest working theater in the U.S?  We didn't either.   Check out the cool story via LJ-World with photos from Mike Yoder:

And visit the Plaza Grill and Cinema website here to read about (and contribute to) their plans to turn the site into "an interactive historical experience").


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And it's December, folks, which means there's something Christmas-related every damn day in LFK from here on out.  Tonight brings a booze-fueled and burlesque-filled option as the Thieves' Guild celebrate their anniversary by drinking and drawing pretty girls (and Roscoe "Bandit" Jenkins). Go join 'em.

Holiday Week Picks: Motorcycle Flicks. Holiday Classics, and a Snipe Hunt

Kick off your holidays with...a bunch of crazy clips from motorcycle movies at Horror Remix on Tuesday. Why not?  Full details on the flicks here via Horror Remix.  An excerpt from the Nightmare Beach synopsis:

"Bikini clad bitches are getting electrocuted by a mysterious (not to mention stylish) biker dude and everyone is pissed. Even the mayor!" 






And here's a Thanksgiving-related horror treat for you.  Eli Roth's Thanksgiving trailer from Grindhouse:




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Liberty Hall serves up a more traditional holiday treat on Wednesday: John Hughes' Planes, Trains and Automobiles.  Will everyone drunkenly shout "Those aren't pillows!!"  Probably.




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And Final Friday doesn't take a holiday break.  Our pick this month is the "Snipe Hunt" exhibit at the Percolator:


"SNIPE HUNT is an acronym for Society of the Never-ending Inquest to Prove Existence and Hopefully Uncover Non-typical Terrestrials. Lawrence-based artists Kent Smith and Matthew Lord created SNIPE HUNT to function as a community-sourced art project exploring the numerous reports of the many mysterious creatures around the world and the cryptic phenomena that surround them."

They've been soliciting tales of local creature-sightings for awhile, and we're hoping that someone has reported chupacabras sightings in NoLaw.

Visit the FB event page here

One More Round of Loaded For Bear Plus Weekend Music and Movie Picks

Our friends at Loaded For Bear finish up their week-long residency here at the LC with their best column yet, a moving reverie about an LFK man who is wearing two pairs of pants.  See Loaded for Bear on Friday and/or Saturday at 8:30 at LAC.  Tickets available via lawrenceartscenter.org/calendar/


GET LOADED FOR BEAR 4 INSIDE YOU

By Two Pants, Your Experimental Lover

NOTE: “Two Pants” is not affiliated with Loaded for Bear 4 in any way. He’s just a guy we saw hanging out at the Quick Shop at 19^th and Mass. He was wearing two pairs of pants.

Picture a man in your mind. Not just any man, a specific man. He possesses all the qualities of a man: hair in body and face, the idea that the line between empathy and punching is razor thin, and a penis rather than a vagina. Don't picture his penis, though. Okay, fine, picture it for a moment... Done yet? Okay, thanks. A man: virile, hairy, enpenised, vibrating with the confused internal aggression which is a byproduct of modernity.

Also, this man wears two pairs of pants.

I know, the virility of this man in your mind has now increased a thousandfold. Feel free to salivate. Nobody is watching you. Even if they appear to be, it is a blank stare. Their internal machinery is too busy whirring away at the outcome of last night's sports or new episode of Cop Doctors.

Feel no shame, and allow the image of Two-Pants to envelope you like a blanket of bubblewrap, both comforting and exhilarating. He's like a tiger, with the sensuality of sinew and a strength born as much of agility as strength. And then he commandingly places his hand upon your knee and says,
"What's up, girl. Two-Pants. That's two for one. Put your tongue on my elbow."

And you realize with utter clarity that even though we exist in a world where sometimes you get a voicemail without the phone ever ringing, our bodies are made of the detritus of stars, and our souls are made of light, and Two-Pants's elbow tastes like Cheetos.

Now open your eyes and realize that the moments of true happiness in your life are fleeting, and if you want to make them last even a fraction longer then you'd better go see Loaded for Bear 4: Ad Astra per Ursa at the Lawrence Arts Center. This Friday and Saturday at 8:30pm. 

And remember that Two-Pants loves you.


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Past interview subjects are popping up all over LFK this weekend so let's dish out some a couple of old links for you.

Chicago's ShowYouSuck hits the Replay on Friday for a major hip-hop show along with many others including LFK-favorite Approach.  Reread our interview with ShowYouSuck here, in which we talk about girls and pizza.




Our old pals Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band are back in town and at the Bottleneck on Friday.  Reread our 2012 interview here, in which we talk about fried potatoes and going fishing on the Warped Tour.



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Now for the movie scene.

Over at Alamo Drafthouse KC, a weekly "movie interruption" event is kicking into high gear on Sunday.  If you're unfamiliar, this means that comedians (in this case Doug Benson and Chris Cubas and pals) will sit in the front row and heckle some old flicks.  It's one of the few occasions where (certain) people can talk in a Drafthouse chain without fear of permanent banishment (as in the recent case of poor Madonna... guess she should have been more polite during 12 Years a Slave).  Watch these funny fuckers give Halle Berry's ghost flick Gothica the business on Sunday at 7:30.  Details here via Alamo KC and watch the trailer for the "interruption" via Vimeo.




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Sure, most people will be seeing the new Hunger Games flick this weekend (though personally we're waiting for David O. Russell's upcoming American Hustle to get our Jennifer Lawrence fix, since it has a a much higher chance of some nekkid J-Law action).

But what's on the indie circuit this weekend?

Over at the Glenwood theaters, catch Harry Potter playing Allen Ginsberg (and David Cross playing Ginsberg's dad) in Kill Your Darlings.




Or you can check out Dallas Buyers Club.  Matthew McConaughey lost a shitload of weight for this film and, as we all know, this usually adds up to instant Oscar.  Jared Leto is also supposed to be awesome, so let the Leto cult assemble.

Theater Picks: Staged Reading at the Percolator; Expressionistic Musicals at KU; and Loaded For Bear At LAC

Readers, we bitch a lot about Theatre Lawrence and the safe theatrical fare that tends to dominate the Lied and KU, but it's actually a pretty good week for indie and experimental theater in LFK.  And, since we know you all love theater (!!), we're offering a few more picks in addition to those scamps in Loaded for Bear, who appear down below with a list of their favorite bear attacks in advance of their weekend shows at the LAC.

We haven't seen a play at the Percolator before, but Thursday night might change that.  A staged reading of "The Power of Duff" stars LFK's favorite late-night talk show host Mr. Mike Anderson.  Here's a summary from the FB event page: 

"When burnt-out local TV newscaster Charlie Duff suddenly begins offering a prayer at the end of his nightly broadcasts, he instantly becomes a popular and controversial figure to an expanding audience. But even as his prayers inspire millions, Charlie struggles with his own beliefs and his inability to connect with his estranged son."

Is there a charge for this? We can't seem to spot it.  Perhaps someone will step in and clarify.

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KU's University Theatre gets edgy and high-tech with a production of Adding Machine:  A Musical, based on Elmer Rice's great, weird Expressionistic play.  It was sold out all last weekend in the tiny black box, and we expect the same this time too.  So jump on tickets pretty quick if this is your kind of thing.

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And, of course, there is Loaded For Bear 4, which will certainly be the drunkest of this week's theater picks (both cast and audience).  Below is their message for the day.

Loaded for Bear 4: Ad Astra Per Ursa – November 22 and 23, Lawrence Arts Center, 8:30 p.m. $9. Tickets available at the box office, or at lawrenceartscenter.org/calendar/

WHEN LOADED FOR BEAR ATTACKS!

By the Loaded for Bear Unpaid Interns

In the spirit of lists - something the Internet loves more than videos of cats, videos of people doin' it, and videos of cats forcing people to 'do it' at knifepoint - Loaded for Bear presents a not-all-derived-from-Buzzfeed-type-stuff list of the world's CRAZIEST BEAR ATTACKS THAT WE JUST MADE UP.

3) California, 1849 - At the height of the Gold Rush, prospector Josef Muller (who didn't see you come in there, by the way) nearly died after, you guessed it, a bear attack in the woods south of that place they found gold at that one time. The bear, being an Irish, was only spurred to attack when Muller found its pot of gold. Whilst attempting to protect its gold, the bear got drunk instead and then started a shouting match/fistfight with Muller that ended with the bear crying about the guilt it had for not being there when its mother died. CRAZY FACTOR: 1 1/2 maulings

2) Siberia, 1962 - 2 Russian cosmonauts suffered major arterial trauma after Svetlana, the first bear Russians shot into space (and they shot lots of bears into space - that was kind of their thing) soft-landed at their Siberian training grounds. Angered that the Russian space agency had zero plans to actually ensure her return to Earth or pay into her 401(k), Svetlana took her frustration out on the poor saps already trying not to die under Communism. CRAZY FACTOR: 3 shits in the woods.

1) Washington, DC, 1997 - After a particularly vicious mauling in the Oval Office, President Bear-ton went on national television to claim "I did not have violent relations with that hiker."  Yep, that's all I got. You try making bear puns about the Lewinsky scandal - it's not as easy as it seems. Uh, im-bear-ment trial - see what I mean.  Like President Bear-ton wasn't a stretch from the get-go. We're done here. CRAZY FACTOR: 4 1/2 scalps torn off by bears.

Welp, there you have it. Maybe next time there'll be gifs. But if you can't wait 'til next time, and/or prefer to see motion unfold linearly in time and space rather than repeated in a continuous closed loop, come see Loaded for Bear 4: Ad Astra Per Ursa, a new comedy show at the Lawrence Arts Center, November 22 and 23 at 8:30 PM. No bear puns – we promise.  Fingers still crossed on the whole “clean” thing though.

Tuesday Scenester Pick: Little Howlin' Wolf at the Replay / More Hijinks From Loaded For Bear

It's another Wiggins Day in LFK!  But what else might be of interest?

 Little Howlin' Wolf hits the Replay tonight.  Our first guess was that Little Howlin' Wolf is a child blues prodigy.  But we guessed wrong. Apparently Little Howlin' Wolf is a...

"Polish fellow from the South Side of Chicago whose past activities have included being a bounty hunter, secret agent, diving instructor, and kids' pirate entertainer. As a street musician, he also has created a body of free-flowing music from another planet ranging from demented voodoo-blues, junkyard calypso, fractured free-gospel and other uncategorizable sound forms that call to mind the greatest moments of Abner Jay, Albert Ayler, and Don Van Vliet."

Well, sure.  This has got to be the pick of the night, right?

Here's Little Howlin' Wolf.  Learn more and hear some tunes here.  The first tune we clicked, "Astral Blue," begins with a bunch of noises that sounds like a rhino stampede.



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The Loaded for Bear gang is back with us today for two more attempts to get you to attend their show this weekend.  The first is written by Matt Gaus's baby and the next is a written by a handout.  And stick around for the very strange new flyer below.

Loaded for Bear 4: Ad Astra Per Ursa – November 22 and 23, Lawrence Arts Center, 8:30 p.m. $9. Tickets available at the box office, or at lawrenceartscenter.org/calendar/

Why You Should See Loaded for Bear 4

by Max Lowrance-Gaus, Age 1

I’ll just say it: you should go see Loaded for Bear 4, the comedy show co-produced by my parents. “But Max,” you’re saying. “You’re one years old. That’s only one more than zero years old. Why should I give a crap what you think?” Let me explain.

So I’m at daycare the other day, and this kid Rafael comes up to me and says “My daddy’s a biomedical researcher at KU Med. He’s close to a breakthrough that will lead to a cure for Parkinson’s disease. What does your dad do?” “He dresses up like a cowboy , delivers “fictional” monologues about an unhealthy sexual obsession with Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and calls it satire.”

Jesus Christ.

My mom’s not any better. Last night she’s hunched over her editing console, and I’m like “Hey mommy, could you read me Goodnight Moon?” “Not now, Max. Mommy’s almost figured out how to make lasers shoot out of Josef Stalin’s crudely animated eyeballs.” Yeah, mom, that’ll win you an Oscar. “Leave your mama alone and come eat dinner,” Dad said. “We’re having Doritos and Red Bull again.”

So why should you see Loaded for Bear 4? Because thirty years from now, when I’m getting fired from the car wash for stealing change out of your center console, or arrested for urinating on your air conditioning unit, you might not be able to forgive, but you might be able to understand.

Why You Should Go See Loaded for Bear 4: Ad Astra Per Ursa

By An HR Handout on Proper Lifting

I love Loaded for Bear! It’s great comedy and you should totes go see it on November 22^nd and 23^rd at the Lawrence Arts Center!  But there’s another reason I really love Loaded for Bear, and I’ll let you in on it: it’s because they really get loads! In my line of work, that’s incredibly important! I’m a handout that details how to lift things properly, so I know about loads. “Stand close to the load,” “Firmly grip the load,” “Use your legs to lift the load.” And Loaded for Bear brings the loads along with what I’m told is comedy.  

See, I’m just a crude series of diagrams that show people lifting a box together, so I don’t really get most forms of humor. But when I see everyone else laughing and having a great time, I have to assume that Loaded for Bear, in addition to being great with loads, is also really funny!  So go see Loaded for Bear, because which would you rather do – watch Loaded for Bear 4: Ad Astra Per Ursa or face a lifetime of back pain?