Guest Post: Loaded For Bear Presents a Comedy Manifesto

A tradition continues this week as we turn over the blog (at least partly) to the pranksters from Loaded for Bear and let them promote their annual pre-Thanksgiving hijinks at the Arts Center.   Visit the FB event page here and enjoy the following manifesto!

 Loaded For Bear – A Comedy Manifesto

Details out of the way – we’ve got the fifth installment of our three-part comedy series coming up this Friday and Saturday, November 21st and 22nd, 8:30 p.m. at the Lawrence Arts Center. It’s called Loaded for Bear V: Does Not O.K.

Two questions: “Why should I spend my hard-earned comedy dollar on your show instead of, like, going to see them record that one public radio comedy show where the aging baby boomers hit wood blocks and do Dick Cheney impressions?” and “Why is the name of your show so stupid interesting?” Two questions, one answer.

Does Not O.K. is our philosophy. Anyone can get a laugh with something cute and harmless. It’s even easier to shock a laugh out of you. We want to show you something – maybe just a single moment -- that you’ve never seen before and will never see again. A premise so bizarre, a perspective so twisted, a performance so unexpected, that your brain will try and fail to comprehend it, shutting down several key central nervous functions, leaving you with a mental error message on an infinite loop – something like “That last scene … does not O.K. Does not O.K.” Laughter’s a bonus, but if we don’t give you an experience, we’re just wasting your time.

Here:

Cute and harmless: “So I was watching Law and Order Criminal SUV CSI New Jersey gosh there’s so many cop shows amiright?”

Shock: “It’s impossible to watch Law and Order SVU without an erection, amiright?”

Does Not O.K.: “Stories? Every cop has a story. I remember when I got the call about the triple homicide at the old folks home. I was in line at Subway, and I ordered a 6” Turkey Club with mayo. I get back to the squad car, and they gave me goddamn spicy mustard. How the hell am I supposed let that go? I was three days from retirement, and – spicy mustard? Really? This city is a cesspool of depravity and shattered dreams, amiright?”

Or how about:

Cute and harmless: “My two-year-old calls Winnie the Pooh Winnie the Poop!”

Shock: “So Winnie the Pooh walks into a bukkake party, and he sees Piglet lying on the table ….”

Does Not O.K.: “I went to get a tattoo of an eagle clutching another eagle in his talons, but instead they gave me a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh hanging on a cross with the words ‘Our God Is An Awesome God’ in a tasteful Gothic Font. I think it’s called a Poohcifix. It’s gone a long way towards bringing me back to the church.”

Look: it’s a big carnival out there, and you’re welcome to ride the teacups all day, if that’s your thing. They’re over there by the woodblocks. But if you’re looking for something that’ll make you really fly, step inside our dingy little tent, over by where the carnies are chasing Vicodin with Wild Turkey. You might see something you’ll tell your grandkids about.

Also, fart jokes.