Loaded For Bear Blog Takeover, Vol. IV, a Note From the Director / Weekend Picks: 7 Minutes in Purgatory, Dr. Strangelove, and Dead Girls Say Goodbye

It has recently come to our attention that there are actually more events occurring this weekend in LFK in addition to the Loaded For Bear shows.  Who knew?  So today's "very special message" from the Loaded For Bear gang is followed by our usual weekend picks.  Stick around.

LOADED FOR BEAR - A NOTE FROM THE DIRECTOR

Hello. I am the director of Loaded for Bear. I am also the co-creator of Loaded for Bear with another guy. Also also I have a doctorate in history. Are you laughing yet? Because it's funny.

I grew up in small town in Lawrence, Kansas (You probably think that's a typo, but you'd be wrong - I consciously chose that preposition because that's what doctors do). There I was not class president at school. Looking back, I don't think they had a president. Or a school. Wait, no, they had a school. I went there. I think it was Broken Arrow.

After school, I did way more school because you have to to be a doctor. Then I started Loaded for Bear with another guy because, to paraphrase science, we could. I can't write prescriptions with my doctorate because life is bullshit. Also, I will never find love.

This year's Loaded for Bear, the FIFTH show we've done, says it does not O.K. but that's a lie. It does O.K. In fact, I'll use my authority as a doctor (the registrar still has my diploma, could you go pick it up for me? I'll spot lunch if you can) to say that Loaded for Bear is fully O.K. to the point of surpassing O.K. while also running a mild fever. Normally I'd prescribe indomethacin but I don't get to be that kind of doctor.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. Here's an excerpt from my review of our show:

"For the opening scene of LOADED FOR BEAR to have maximum impact, it’s probably best to go in knowing nothing about its protagonist’s profession, which is unfortunately revealed in the poster, if not the title itself. Waking in an anonymous hotel room, LOADED FOR BEAR stares at the naked woman he bedded the night before, while his ex-wife calls him to argue about money. Bleary-eyed and surrounded by the remnants of a party only hours dead, he swigs the dregs from a beer bottle, stumbles around the room, does a line of coke to get straight. And then he eventually strides confidently into the hallway in his airline pilot’s uniform, to the tune of Joe Cocker’s “Feelin’ Alright.” Directing his first live-action LOADED FOR BEAR since 2013’s LOADED FOR BEAR, LOADED FOR BEAR paces it brilliantly, slowly ramping up the energy from hungover lethargy to coke-fueled confidence, while creating undercurrents of dread as LOADED FOR BEAR hits his stride. LOADED FOR BEAR looks the part of the perfect pilot, and he may feel all right, but beneath the surface, something has clearly gone wrong."

Actually that’s a review by Keith Phipps, formerly of the A.V. Club, of Robert Zemeckis’ 2012 film “Flight” starring Denzel Washington. I just changed some names to LOADED FOR BEAR for some reason. I don’t have a problem with that. I have a doctorate. You ask me if I have a God-complex. Let me tell you something: I am God.

Also, there's fart jokes.

So to sum up: I like Loaded for Bear and you can too if you come see it. You better believe it's DOCTOR APPROVED! And Denzel Washington's really good in "Flight." So's Don Cheadle, but that's no surprise there.

 



---


There is no "Good Time" comedy show at the Replay this evening because the Harpoon Presents crew is engaged in some other hijinks:  an event at Pachamama's Star Bar called "7 Minutes in Purgatory."  It's sort of based on the old "7 Minutes in Heaven" thing, but we're pretty sure you don't have to make out with a comedian in a closet.  Instead, comedians will be "telling jokes in a sound proof room as the crowd watches them panic on a video screen."   Instead, the comedians are " The cost is only $3.  You'll want to see this.  Details here. 




Head to the Replay after the comedy and watch Til Willis tear the roof off, along with Wells the Traveler and E100.  You can always count on Til Willis shows to feature bad-ass posters too.






Liberty Hall hosts a 50th anniversary screening of Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove on Friday at 7:00.  Details here.  Are there prizes for the best Peter Sellers or George C. Scott impersonations?




While the jokers of Loaded For Bear crack wise in the depths of LAC, some bands will croon pretty tunes upstairs on Saturday.




And the scenester event of the weekend is surely the LFK installment of the Dead Girls' three farewell shows. It's at the Replay on Saturday.  You'll miss these little scamps when they're gone, so don't miss this show.

Loaded For Bear Blog Takeover, Vol. III: The One By Andy Morton

In today's installment, Andy Morton waxes poetic about geography and comedy, leaving Chip a little worried that this weekend's shows may be light on dick jokes.  Catch the shows Friday at Saturday at LAC.  Info here.

Now listen to Andy...

LOADED FOR BEAR - UNCHARTED WATERS by Andy Morton

If you asked a friend to name the “Top 10 Funniest People Ever,” I’d bet that Vasco Nunez de Balboa wouldn’t make the list. Balboa’s better known for accessing the Pacific Ocean by crossing the Isthmus of Panama, but it’s too bad that he can’t be on more “lists” in general -- he is Balboa, after all.

(Before we continue, let me assure you, dear reader, that I am in no way associated with, related to, or under the employ of Mr. Balboa. I’m simply a huge fan of his work and bring up his name of my own volition.)

So what does Balboa have to do with humor? Two words: Uncharted waters.

Exploring humor is very much like exploring the physical landscape. There are always those who are content with the status quo. (“Why would you want to try a new way of exploring? We’ve got this puppy down now.”) This dissidence even reaches to the methods of transportation used in the actual exploring. When Ernest Shackleton got his ship stuck in the Antarctic pack ice and drifted for months on end towards an uncertain future, you can rest assured that more than one member of his crew got snarky about how they should have taken a plane. Everyone’s an expert.

The end results of these explorations, however, are only part of the story – the part that isn’t even the most interesting! The real thrills lie in the daring of the trip in the first place.

It’s the same in humor.

Every person has his/her own standards for what they consider to be funny. (Yeah, yeah, “no two snowflakes are alike”.) We can certainly share very similar likes and dislikes about humor but we’re always going to disagree somewhere along the way…and that’s what makes the journey fun. There are many types of humor (slapstick, vaudevillian, self-effacing, sarcastic, absurdist, high brow, pee-pee/poo-poo, bawdy jokes and limericks, etc.) and it would be impossible for one (sane) person to subscribe to all of them. And that’s okay because this is where we, as a collective, can set out and explore the waters.

“Loaded for Bear V: Does Not O.K.” is our version of that journey. We began this process with nothing and worked to find out the places we could go together. At no moment were we all in exact agreement about every aspect of what you will see on stage. There are moments that make us all laugh at the same time, but there are some moments where only a few of us chuckle, and other moments only Nelson enjoys. There are also moments that we don’t completely understand.

Again, that’s okay – we’re exploring.

In no way am I claiming us to be comedy vanguards and that this show will destroy the boundaries of any sketch comedy you’ve ever seen on the stage. We’re still going to have sketches in restaurants, in spaceships, in a Supreme Court bathroom – you know, the usual; but we’ve worked very hard to put our own little spins on them, tweak with the expectations of a scene, and create tiny moments that may result in us all dangling over the precipice, possibly without the ability to return to safe ground.

And yet again, that’s okay – we’re exploring.

In the past, we’ve had no compunction about shocking an audience with something racy or inappropriate, and to be honest, we’re pretty good at it. But that tactic is nothing more than Balboa taking his catamaran out and tooling around the bay without ever passing the breakers.

Screw that! Hop aboard the “Loaded for Bear V: Does Not O.K.” schooner and let’s go explore some shit!

LYLAS,

Andy Morton

tl;dr – This year’s show is really weird and we’re extremely proud of it.

Loaded For Bear Blog Takeover, Vol. II

In advance of their weekend show at the Arts Center, the Loaded for Bear gang continue their hijacking of our blog this week, freeing us up to do...whatever else it is that we do (which probably involves drinking PBR and seeing Birdman for a third time).  Thanks, kids!

LOADED FOR BEAR: E-HARMONY CAN STUFF IT™

e-Harmony.com claims their “bold scientific approach” will bring you love with “deeply compatible singles that truly understand you”. Loaded for Bear claims that e-Harmony.com is “the easiest way for convicted felons to get nudie picks in the mail” and is “an obvious front for a multi-state cockfighting ring run by deposed Romanian royalty.” Who’s right? Just listen to our testimonials! (All names have been changed, but this is 100% pure real).

“I attended Loaded for Bear #2: In The Woods back in 2011. It was my first date with ‘Eileen’. I don’t know if it was the satire, the ribaldry, or the ‘Golden Secret by Antonio Banderas’ cologne I was wearing, but later that night I kissed a girl above the shoulders for the first time. Eighteen months later we were married! Now we just can’t stop getting married! Over and over again! Thanks, Loaded for Bear!

--“Steve”

“I took “Mamie” to Loaded for Bear 3: Rocket to Awesome a couple of years ago. She left in the middle of the first act to go watch DVRed episodes of Two and a Half Men and She’s the Sheriff and to continue planning her hunting trip to Botswana to illegally poach endangered white rhinos and Botswanans. Luckily, at intermission, I met “Eileen”. Ten minutes later we were married! Thanks, Loaded for Bear!”

--“Stefan”  

“I liked Loaded for Bear so much that I got married twice! I don’t know which husband to take this year! Maybe I’ll just go myself and get a third husband! A fat one. I always wanted a fat husband! Yee haw! Thanks, Loaded for Bear!”

--“Eileen”

“I took a girl to see the original Loaded for Bear back in 2011. Three hours later, I was single. Now I’m in the cast. If I miss a line they make me do pushups. Sometimes they use me for an ashtray. Thanks, Loaded for Bear!”

--“Jay” “Maus”

THAT’S SCIENTIFIC PROOF!

Loaded for Bear V: Does Not O.K. will be playing at the Lawrence Arts Center this Friday and Saturday, November 21 and 22, at 8:30 p.m. Tickets available at http://goo.gl/1bPeOG.


 

Guest Post: Loaded For Bear Presents a Comedy Manifesto

A tradition continues this week as we turn over the blog (at least partly) to the pranksters from Loaded for Bear and let them promote their annual pre-Thanksgiving hijinks at the Arts Center.   Visit the FB event page here and enjoy the following manifesto!

 Loaded For Bear – A Comedy Manifesto

Details out of the way – we’ve got the fifth installment of our three-part comedy series coming up this Friday and Saturday, November 21st and 22nd, 8:30 p.m. at the Lawrence Arts Center. It’s called Loaded for Bear V: Does Not O.K.

Two questions: “Why should I spend my hard-earned comedy dollar on your show instead of, like, going to see them record that one public radio comedy show where the aging baby boomers hit wood blocks and do Dick Cheney impressions?” and “Why is the name of your show so stupid interesting?” Two questions, one answer.

Does Not O.K. is our philosophy. Anyone can get a laugh with something cute and harmless. It’s even easier to shock a laugh out of you. We want to show you something – maybe just a single moment -- that you’ve never seen before and will never see again. A premise so bizarre, a perspective so twisted, a performance so unexpected, that your brain will try and fail to comprehend it, shutting down several key central nervous functions, leaving you with a mental error message on an infinite loop – something like “That last scene … does not O.K. Does not O.K.” Laughter’s a bonus, but if we don’t give you an experience, we’re just wasting your time.

Here:

Cute and harmless: “So I was watching Law and Order Criminal SUV CSI New Jersey gosh there’s so many cop shows amiright?”

Shock: “It’s impossible to watch Law and Order SVU without an erection, amiright?”

Does Not O.K.: “Stories? Every cop has a story. I remember when I got the call about the triple homicide at the old folks home. I was in line at Subway, and I ordered a 6” Turkey Club with mayo. I get back to the squad car, and they gave me goddamn spicy mustard. How the hell am I supposed let that go? I was three days from retirement, and – spicy mustard? Really? This city is a cesspool of depravity and shattered dreams, amiright?”

Or how about:

Cute and harmless: “My two-year-old calls Winnie the Pooh Winnie the Poop!”

Shock: “So Winnie the Pooh walks into a bukkake party, and he sees Piglet lying on the table ….”

Does Not O.K.: “I went to get a tattoo of an eagle clutching another eagle in his talons, but instead they gave me a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh hanging on a cross with the words ‘Our God Is An Awesome God’ in a tasteful Gothic Font. I think it’s called a Poohcifix. It’s gone a long way towards bringing me back to the church.”

Look: it’s a big carnival out there, and you’re welcome to ride the teacups all day, if that’s your thing. They’re over there by the woodblocks. But if you’re looking for something that’ll make you really fly, step inside our dingy little tent, over by where the carnies are chasing Vicodin with Wild Turkey. You might see something you’ll tell your grandkids about.

Also, fart jokes.

 

Weekend Picks: Comedy, David Bazan, Girls' Rock Show, Letter Writing, Found Footage Fest, and More

Here are some things to do this weekend which you probably won't do because it's fucking cold and going to snow.

"Good Time" rolls on at the Replay tonight.  We're hoping for jokes about gay marriage in Kansas and harpooning comets.

 





The Bottleneck must not have been able to score any regional jamgrass bands for Friday so they accidentally booked a great indie show instead:  David Bazan and the Passenger String Quartet, with the great songwriter Dave Dondero opening.




There's also a great fundraiser at Lawrence Creates Makerspace to help fund a Girls Rock camp for next summer in LFK.  There's a line-up of lady rockers on the bill along with a silent art auction, prize giveaways, booze, etc.  Full details here

 

And 40 Watt Dreams plays an early Love Garden show on Friday along with Allison Olassa and we're told that some kind of (home-brewed) Interstellar Beer will be on hand.  We don't see a time listed, but we'd guess 7:00 pm??  For a small number of you, this is WAY more exciting than the first official KU basketball game of the season.




On Saturday, KU will play football in the snow.  If we beat TCU, will the students have to break the ice on Potter Lake to submerge the goalposts?  Let's not worry about it.  We won't be defeating TCU.




Don't forget the second installment of the "Letter Writing Club" on Sunday afternoon for all those absolutely sick of this internet bullshit.  According to Facebook,  46 people are going.  That seems a little hard to believe but, if so, awesome.  It's at 2:00 pm at Decade.  Details here.


 



And the always-unusual Found Footage Festival stops through on Sunday.  This time it's at Liberty Hall at 7:00.

Stuff We Like This Week: Indiegogo Campaign to Pay Off Kansas Budget Deficit; Noir Film Fest; Boulevard 25th Anniversary Ale

The most amusing Kansas-related story you're likely to see today is Will Averill's Indiegogo campaign to help pay off the state's budget deficit:  "We may not have a lot of mountains, trees, or good fiscal judgement, but we do have bills."  A $200 donation gets you a monkey from the Wichita Zoo.  Check it out here
and laugh through the tears.

Here's a recent picture that led us briefly to believe Brownback was being  imprisoned for his many crimes again Kansas while forced to wear a K-State shirt.  Sadly it turned out not to be the case.




If we lived in KC we'd kick back at the Alamo KC all weekend for the first annual Noir City film festival, a chance to see noir classics like Gun Crazy and In a Lonely Place on the big-screen along with appearances from Gun Crazy's Peggy Cummins and a noir-themed party at the Chesterfield bar.  Sometimes LFK is simply out-hipped.  Details here.




And Boulevard's Silver Anniversary Ale has made it on tap in LFK.  It's a collaboration with Odells, also celebrating their 25th.  We know Dempsey's has it.  Where else?

Nerdy Presentations At Nerd Nite and Beyond: Coffee Beans, Medieval Armour, Wild Edibles, Riot Grrrls, and Emily Graslie

It's a good week to hear nerdy presentations in LFK, if you're willing to brave the polar vortex!

Nerd Nite is back on Wednesday.  This month's topics include coffee beans, medieval armour, and "foraging for wild edibles," which we hope means psychedelic mushrooms.  Check out the FB event page here.

If you prefer your lectures more academic and with less booze, stop by the Malott Room in the KU Union at 7:00 on Wednesday evening to hear noted "zine" scholar Janice Radway.  Yes, we wish this event were happening at Wonder Fair, but you can't have it all.  In keeping with the expectations of zine culture, there isn't much online promotion for this event, but here's a picture we snapped and a link to a few details.

And on Thursday, Emily Graslie, the "Chief Curiousity Correspondent" of the Field Museum, will speak at the Commons at KU at 7:00. Now that's a great job title!  She's also the host of the popular Youtube series "The Brain Scoop."  The FB event page is here.  Expect her talk to range "from romantic ants to skinning a wolf to odd museum jobs."

We're voting Emily our official nerd-crush of the week!

Weekend Picks: Two Homecomings, Comedy, Plays, and a Benefit

We spent all of the past Independence Day waiting in vain at the Replay, hoping that hometown heroes Fourth of July might return from California to play their annual show.  Alas, our vigil was as fruitless as Linus waiting in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin.  But we'll settle for this weekend's Saturday solo return of Brendan Hangaeur, whose new project Empty Moon plays the Replay on Saturday along with The Hips and 1,000,000 light years.

You can stream the new album via Soundcloud here.

Empty Moon plays a KC show on Friday, which you should also attend.  Here are both flyers:

And don't forget the weekend's other big homecoming as Mark Mangino makes his return to Memorial Stadium as he and Iowa State return to give KU their weekly football beatdown.

Chip: "Can we keep him?"

This photo of an LFK yard sign has been making the rounds on Twitter during Election season.




There's comedy at the Replay tonight, of course (though we can't find a flyer listing the performers and the Replay didn't bother to put tonight's event on their main calendar).   And there's an even bigger comedy show at the Replay on Friday (also 6-9) with Denver comics Sam Tallent and Byron Graham.  FB event page here.




Friday brings another I Heart Local Music showcase (and birthday party!) at the Replay.  This should be a wild one:




And Card Table's Edward Gant's Amazing Feats of Loneliness enters its third and final weekend at the LAC.  We caught it last weekend and found it well-acted, beautifully-designed, and stocked full of the experimental/meta hijinks we're coming to expect from recent Card Table productions (though still with enough crude humor to please the old fans who'd rather see sketch comedy and maintaining an episodic structure befitting the short attention spans of PBR-swilling scenester theatergoers).  In a lovely moment near the end, Will Averill's Edward Gant, our master of ceremonies, roams the audience and intones: "In a world where death is at our shoulder every hour, even the smallest act of creativity is a marvelous, courageous thing."  So go support them, LFK!  And for maximum mind-fuckery, go see this on a double-bill with Inarritu's new film Birdman.

As much as we dig the meta, though, we left the theater thinking that the MOST radical thing Card Table could do right now would be to go traditional on our asses with a straightforward, character-driven narrative that ditches the ironic distancing and allows for real emotional connection (maybe something that does this in a playful way...like Sarah Ruhl's The Clean House?).  OR, we'd like to see them try something truly fucking weird, like staging O'Neill's legendary tale of failed lives and "pipe dreams," The Iceman Cometh, as a site-specific production at the Replay with the actors actually sitting at the bar.



The Jackpot is still a place that exists, believe it or not.  We recently watched some folks play whiskey jugs and donkey jawbones in there for an audience of four.  Hopefully a few more show up to see our pals Sona play on Friday.





And make sure to end your weekend with a great community event at Frank's North Star: a fundraiser for Frank's brother who was recently seriously injured in an accident in Austin.  Bands, a silent auction, and raffles start at 7:00 pm. Details here.

No doubt we're leaving stuff out as usual and feel free to yell at us but do remember: we don't get paid for this shit!!

Wednesday Picks: Million Mask March and Mr. Nasti

Well, Election Day is over and Kansas apparently prefers to keep being ruled by cruel overlords.  It's an interesting strategy.  Let's see how it works out for us all.

In the meantime, maybe you're looking for a masked protest on Guy Fawkes' Night to get rid of some of yesterday's frustration.  The Million Mask March is huge in cities like London, where it's apparently escalating quickly with riot police as we type this.  But things are likely to be a bit calmer here in LFK, since only 8 people are listed as going on the FB event page.  Hopefully a few more will find their way to South Park at 6:00 and march to the train station.

Chip:  "Do I have to wear that particular mask? Or can I just wear my Guardians of the Galaxy Groot costume from Halloween?"
 


For those who'd rather drink beer in a dark dive while bemoaning last night's losses, our music-savvy pals over at  The Temp Agency tipped us off that one of their artists, Mr. Nasti, is passing through LFK tonight for a show at the Taproom.  He's been described as follows:

“a complete revelation. He hides his lanky frame in a cloud of shadows alternating with a sea of bright, flashing lights…On stage, [his] mild-mannered nature…is hugged into this charismatic and gifted singer-songwriter…a beautiful mix of love and hope and occasional despair.”
 
Well, please hold the despair tonight, Mr. Nasti.  We need "a beautiful mix of love and hope" in Brownbackistan right now..

This well-dressed gentleman doesn't look particularly "nasti," does he?

 
 

Closed For Voting!

We're closed today so we can vote out the bums! 

But we did receive this very special message from Paul Rudd:

Early Week Picks: Drink, Draw, Dance, Vote

If you were to wonder where the most likely place would be in LFK to find scenesters sitting around attempting to imitate the work of Edgar Degas, Fatso's would probably not be your first choice.  But it will happen there tonight with the Thieves Guild.  According to the FB page: "Our lovely ballet dancer Dolly D. Imples of Foxy by Proxy shall twist and turn into poses inspired by French artist Edgar Degas."

 

Meanwhile, at the Jackpot, a band called Bone Jugs N Harmony will make a racket with "bones, jug, xylophone, kazoos, steel pan, resonator guitar, banjo, double bass, drums, all sorts of noise makers." LFK's Nicholas St. James and the Ovaries-Eez are also on the bill and supposedly the set-times are at 8:00, 9:00, and 10:00 (though this seems awfully unlikely and too good to be true).  Details here.





Not a bad double-dose of weirdness on a Monday night in LFK.

And tomorrow: don't forget to vote out the bums!!  Let's Boog-ie!  (if you catch our Boog reference).

Here's Paul Davis giving a reporter the stink-eye via www.kansascity.com.