Just as we feared, LFK's City Fathers narrowly approved a ban on porch-couches at last night's meeting, so some of your favorite places to get baked and hammered may not be with you much longer. Also as expected, not a single porch-couch loving slacker showed up at the meeting to fight for their couches (but who can blame them? It was damn hot outside and they were probably enjoying a cold one on their porch). City officials say they'll first ask tenants, then property owners, to remove the offending fire-hazard furniture before they begin leveling fines of up to $100 per day.
But is LFK riled up enough about this legislation to post snarky comments about it? You fucking bet. Let's take a look at the LJ-World talkbacks:
Currahee says: "I'm so glad our commissioners are doing important things, such as banning couches on porches. Now the real war against the existence of porches can begin. Those wooden things can catch on fire too!"
Renaissance says: "since this is CLEARLY a fire safety issue and CERTAINLY not a disguised pretentious aesthetics issue, I'm sure the commission will be fine with me replacing my porch couch with several old toilets I can use as lounging chairs."
Smileydog offers our favorite comment, which incorporates not only a reference to the group that's currently trying to impose a city ban on drones but also to the classic 2005 story about the dude who kept his own severed foot on his porch: "Where will my chickens sleep? On the bright side, when the homeland security drones start hovering above our streets, they won't be seeing me or my chickens hanging outside on our couch....severed foot kept in a jar still legal for the porch? Yes."
And elliotlaw chimes in to defend the ban: "Good move by the city, sometimes you just have to force the hillbilly out of people."
Read the full LJWorld piece and comments here.
Readers, are you STILL salivating for more Quantrill's Raid-related events in LFK? Then hit the Percolator this Final Friday as they partner up with the Watkins Museum to show more pieces from the "Modern Views of Quantrill's Raid" collection. You can also listen to a performance from our friends in The Silos at 7:00. Hopefully they'll write some new tunes for this event such "The Ballad of the Twitter Re-enactment of Quantrill's Raid" and "The Ballad of the Tweeting Horse That Tweeted in the Twitter-Re-enactment of Quantrill's Raid." Visit the FB event page here.
Or perhaps you've moved on from Quantrill to the next huge community-wide event. Yes, Read Across Lawrence and KU's Common Book program are striving to get each and every one of you sumbitches to read Timothy Egan's Dust Bowl book, The Worst Hard Time. We're told that "roving packs of librarians" will hit downtown during Final Friday to give away free copies, and apparently there are also Dust Bowl-related specials at certain locations, such as Black Blizzards and Dusty Dogs at Henry's on 8th. Find more info and many other RAL13 events here via LPL. We're thinking of making the Dusty Dog our official drink as we read the book throughout September.