A Local Missed Connections Mash-Up Poem / Scenester Pick of the Day: Up the Academy and Nurses at Jackpot

Readers, it's been awhile since we collected a sampling of excerpts from Larryville's Craigslist Missed Connections and Personals and assembled them into a mash-up poem of lust and longing. But you're in luck today. Enjoy.


I have a hotel room all to myself and was wanting to cheat on my current girlfriend, Pamela Handerson.
I'm young, thin, and have a body smoother than the taste of Camel Lights.
Send me an email with "Battletoads" in the subject line.

U always smile when i come thru the drive up.
Order hotdog n shake or melt n shake and u always try to make it a meal

i asked for oil/vinegar and you're like yeah, they're awesome

seen she had the sexiest waist and tight butt I'd ever seen

Your mom mentioned something to me about my sons straw

What song were you singing?

I was wearing a backwards hat

What I meant was "I want to lay face down in your bathwater as a reward for being a good puppy."

Big boobs and kissing...Good looking guy seeks these two things

i'm a guy, masculine and sane
just want to try giving a dude a handjob or using your pocket pussy on you
while you kick backand watch some porn

you are so sexy and have the nicest ass
You drive a blue ford and have dog
I see You give off so many happy vibrations
I want to bring you flowers every day and treat you like a queen
I bet your amazing in bed
Describe to me what your dog looks like

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The Jackpot is still rocking, at least for now, so make sure to head down tonight and see our buddies in Up the Academy.

Remember that time they fed us patriotic grilled-cheese sandwiches at Love Garden?















Or that time they dressed like bunnies?















They're opening up for Portland's Nurses. You should probably chat with them about Portlandia. Check out their Bandcamp page.

And here are Nurses (they don't look at all like Chip hoped):