The Boys' Picks of the Day: "Theology on Tap" at Henry's Upstairs and "Big Trouble in Little China" at 80's Neon Dance Night!

Larryville's hippest Christians have begun meeting on Thursday afternoons at Henry's Upstairs to "rap" about all things theological (and knock back some brews!) in an informal, upscale atmosphere: the event is called "Theology on Tap." Will the boys attend?

Richard: "I find that, when I'm hammered, my views on religion become especially loud and important. This is a nice idea."

Chip: "In Forttt Scottt, we prefer our boozing and our religion to be kept separate. Sure, we might get shitfaced in the parking lot at Rusty's Bar until 4:00 a.m on a Sunday morning, but we'll be at church a few hours later to promise we won't do it again. But to tell you the truth, I don't mind this "Theology on Tap" thing. It seems like there's always some loudmouthed hipster bonehead at Henry's or the Pig wanting to talk about these things (some of the hipsters call Jesus the "J-Dog") and maybe by limiting these discussions to the afternoons we can keep the evenings free to discuss things more suited to bar conversation. Like sports...and pussy."

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Larryville's long-running 80's retro DJ dance party, Neon, kicks off a new feature tonight in which 80's films will be screened prior to the dancing. The first film: Big Trouble in Little China.

Richard: "I want you to think about this seriously for just a second. Big Trouble was released in 86, a full four or so years before most of these sweet little asses grinding away on the dancefloor were even born. If that doesn't make you feel old, my fellow hipsters, I don't know what will. But, as for me, I can still remember when the old Pork Chop Express rolled its way through theaters and into my heart, so I can assure you I'll show up at the 'Neck tonight and see if I can impress the ladies with my knowledge of Kurt Russell and John Carpenter films, but I expect to be greeted mostly by lines such as this: "I thought Rob Zombie directed Halloween?"