"You can, in fact, write songs about the Undertaker ("Tombstone Piledriver") or a minor Twin Peaks character ("The Ballad Of Rusty Tomaski") that are just as metal as something called "Fermented Offal Discharge." (Any band willing to introduce a song named "Storm the Castle" with a sample of Miracle Max from The Princess Bride has the grace not to take itself too seriously.)"
Personally, the boys like their metal to take itself ultra-seriously. We need to believe the band spent the earlier part of their evening sacrificing a hipster maiden before coming down to the Replay to drink some PBR and rock our fucking faces off. If we think they've been at home watching Princess Bride, it really doesn't work for us. Thumbs up for the Peaks reference, though!
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One of the entries in today's Style Scout is unusually useful, as it profiles "the new girl at Free State Brewery," Ashley Tippin, 26. We'll all be buying a lot of beer from her in the coming days, so let's find out what she's into so we can strike up meaningful conversations at the brewery. Ashley "like[s] to wear things that my grandma would wear when she was my age" and dislikes "Leggings as pants, girls that can’t walk in their high heels and Chaco sandals — they’re hideous." She'd like to see "More upscale bars suitable for intimate conversation" and less "Frat kids getting away with things and people peeing in the alley."
Richard: "I haven't peed in the alley since the Surfer Blood show and that was the Replay's fault for overselling the place by about 100 people."
Chip: "To me, there's nothing more adorable than a sorostitute tottering around on high heels in a bar totally unsuited to intimate conversation, such as Quinton's."
Meet Ashley:
4 comments:
What about that fucking ridiculously named band, Baby Birds Don't Drink Milk? So ironic! Hi mom, yes, myself and idiot semi-literate friends have indeed formed a band! We're to be called...Please LC writers, to what the fuck is this a reference? I feel like attending a show to beat the shit out of whoever takes the stage or maybe just creeping on 8th to see who puts up the flyers and then dragging them in the alley in order to pee on them.
Chacos are hideous? But what are the hipsters supposed to wear when riding their bikes?!
If Baby Birds Don't Drink Milk were the title of a Transmittens song, we'd find it very cute. As is, we also dislike it and will attempt to research its origin.
Metal band name of the day: Goatpuncher.
You guys crack me up! Love the Blog! Please never stop!
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